Wednesday, September 21, 2005
After Counseling From My Elders
It's interesting to see this situation from different view points. Some of my friends my own age are giving me advice as to how to get past all the drama and forgive. We discuss ways to save my relationship with Kassi and then how to separately save my relationship with Michael. I talked to them both and we tried to set up times to do rebuild the relationships. As I talked to Michael and as Kassi and I played phone tag, it hit me. They aren't ever really going to see me point! I've spelled it out face to face with them both but they still don't see it. All day long yesterday I was stressed about how to take my REALLY hard mass media test and deal with the frustration of not being understood. Finally, I read the blog entries my friends had written and it started to make sense. People with more life experience and those that have seen people like this before gave the best advice. This is trouble! There are too many wonderful people in the world to hang on to people that betray you and who misunderstand you. Finally Mommak called and she puts things in a perspective that only a loving sister can. I expressed earlier what kind of friends I like to surround myself with and I can't make any exceptions. Why would I give someone who has hurt me this much, the chance to do it again? I mean this all really could have been a lot worse. What if this all happened after I've given months and months of friendship and love to them? It doesn't matter what reasons are given, and it doesn't matter how much they might want to make me feel guilty. The bottom line is, I choose to start over with the good friends I have and rebuild. I was afraid to do that at first because I haven't made a lot of friends here, so I was nervous that if I didn't get over this I would loose two of them. But I can't look at it that way. I have a whole city of people to find friends in, I don't have to hang on to those that hurt me. I also think Michael and Kassi were trying so hard to fix things for this same reason. All of us are pretty new to this area and don't have a ton of friends. But we all have a chance here to take what we've learned and start over, Kassi with Michael, and me with Tera and Katie. Sometimes life changes in a way you didn't plan, but everything happens for a reason. Wish us all good luck!
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5 comments:
I do wish you good luck (and to the other 2 - good riddance!)
Well, Micadoo, some of us read Kassi's, post (at Bobbe's suggestion) and even visited your site to see what you might have to say about the situation (which was nothing). What we found was an admittance to "breaking the rules," lying, and justifications, not reasons, for selfish actions. A lack of integrity, if you will. Momentary or not, I can not say.
Your own words here state that you were not getting what you felt you needed out of the relationship. It does not sound as if you "drew the line" if you willingly shared a bed with one person while nurturing a relationship with another. I don't believe you can explain how that respects anyone's feelings on your part. Actually drawing the line would have meant an honest break in the physical and romantic relationship, understood by both parties, before entering into a relationship with another person, especially a mutual friend.
The use of the term "adult" applies to more than age, Micadoo.
Bobbe, I now return your blog to you...
My favorite are the hypocrites who like to talk about how holy they are when it suits them. Hmmmm...a professional poker player wanna-be, what a catch! Funny how he sounds like he wants to be the victim. Poor guy:(
When people do wrong they bend in all kinds of directions to justify themselves. Who the hell cares? We don't.
You're making good sense, kid. Don't let nobody get you down. Just remember how special you are.
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