I had an absolutely wonderful weekend. Jessica came to visit from Memphis on Friday. When she got into twon, she met me at work. She, Jackie and I went out to Coconut Bay and had a few drinks. We just laughed and talked all night. A few other friends from work met us and we all laughed and even danced a bit. Since I didn't have dinner and don't drink like I used too, the night ended when I started to feel sick. :o(
Saturday, Jessica met me at work and we had dinner together and then got into Nashville around midnight. This was the first time I could take her to ALL the bars in Nashville since she finally turned 21 in August. We went to our favorite few bars and met some interesting people (that's for sure). I guess there was a computer software convention in Nashville this week because those were the only people we met.
Sunday we slept in late and just did laundry until around 5 when we met Jackie for dinner at Bonefish. I love my Outback discount! We stayed up there for a few hours until I had to go to our Pre-concert rehearsal at school. I was sure I was going to be the most overdressed person on stage, but I love dressing up for concerts and, well I looked good! Jessica and Jackie came to my concert. It was really nice to play in front of an audience again. Unfortunately I'm sick so I coughed through one piece. :o( Oh well! It happens.
After the concert, and after I changed, we went to play darts at the corner bar that everyone goes to. Jackie and I started playing doubles with two regulars and we got HOOKED! We were throwing really well and having a lot of fun. Unfortunately Jackie and her partner won four out of five games. My partner and I played well and had a blast.
Life is back to normal now though. Jessica left yesterday and I have work and school. Thursday in Open House at the day care so I get to decorate the room real nice and spend time with all the parents. It should be nice.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
I Guess I Knew it Would Happen
Current mood: optimistic
Now that I'm getting older, it's about that time when past lovers will be moving on and marrying. I don't know why it hurts women so much when their Ex's get married before them. Maybe there is a part of me that expects him to love me forever, even though I moved out here and left him. Maybe it's because I think I should marry first. I left him for a better life and at this point I don't know if this is a better life, just a different one that I'm more proud of. He is marrying the one person that I really don't like. We let her live with us when she was down on her luck, and Bren got her a job at his work. I guess that's where it all started. At that time I thought I'd be marrying him, but as it turned out, that's where he MET his wife. That sure will be an interesting story to tell the grand kids. :o)
So it's time to erase his number from my phone, e-mail from my address book, and pictures from my computer. I haven't spoken with him since last December so there is really no need for all that information anyway. I guess I just kept it, just in case he needed me or I needed him. But even in my lowest state last year I knew he was not the one to call. So what was I saving it for? The history we had maybe? Who knows?
On a lighter note, here are some weekly updates.
1. Keep my friend Amy in your prayers, he lost her Grandfather the other day. I love you sweet heart and will call you today.
2. Jessica Braley is coming to visit next week, I'm really excited.
3. My first orchestra concert is next sunday (the 22nd). I'm excited to play in front of an audience again. If you are free, I'd love it if you came to see me.
4. I got a B on my promotions test and on my Legal Problems test. Good Job!
That might be it. :o)
5. I'm going out to dinner with Crystal from the daycare today and then Karaoke tonight. Good Times!
Now that I'm getting older, it's about that time when past lovers will be moving on and marrying. I don't know why it hurts women so much when their Ex's get married before them. Maybe there is a part of me that expects him to love me forever, even though I moved out here and left him. Maybe it's because I think I should marry first. I left him for a better life and at this point I don't know if this is a better life, just a different one that I'm more proud of. He is marrying the one person that I really don't like. We let her live with us when she was down on her luck, and Bren got her a job at his work. I guess that's where it all started. At that time I thought I'd be marrying him, but as it turned out, that's where he MET his wife. That sure will be an interesting story to tell the grand kids. :o)
So it's time to erase his number from my phone, e-mail from my address book, and pictures from my computer. I haven't spoken with him since last December so there is really no need for all that information anyway. I guess I just kept it, just in case he needed me or I needed him. But even in my lowest state last year I knew he was not the one to call. So what was I saving it for? The history we had maybe? Who knows?
On a lighter note, here are some weekly updates.
1. Keep my friend Amy in your prayers, he lost her Grandfather the other day. I love you sweet heart and will call you today.
2. Jessica Braley is coming to visit next week, I'm really excited.
3. My first orchestra concert is next sunday (the 22nd). I'm excited to play in front of an audience again. If you are free, I'd love it if you came to see me.
4. I got a B on my promotions test and on my Legal Problems test. Good Job!
That might be it. :o)
5. I'm going out to dinner with Crystal from the daycare today and then Karaoke tonight. Good Times!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Everything Has Changed
It has been a year and two months since I moved to Tennessee. I have to say that I have been through a lot of growing up. I started off by trying disparately to have friends and men. That crashed and burned. Then I had a burst of self motivation and finished the first semester with flying colors and landed an OK job teaching at the day care. I met a great friend and started to center my life around school and just taking things one day at a time. I was still losing the fight in retaining my self worth. I ate a lot! I don't know it if was comfort food, stress, or just cause I had a friend to eat with. But none the less....It took over.
Then the summer came. It was time for family vacation. I went into the week pretty confident. I thought this year my life was on the track that the family had agreed was the path for me so I thought I was in the clear. I guess your loved ones see things differently than you do. To spare you the details, I saw things very differently that week. I was very proud of the way I stayed calm but still expressed my self as clearly as I could. I stayed away from hurtful words since I knew it would not help. My uncertain future was in the spotlight and I've thought long and hard about how I feel about that. I can't tell you that I know where my life will take me in the next few years. I'm not sure if moving here wasn't a HUGE mistake, and I'm not sure if moving here taught me exacting what I needed to learn to be successful down the road. What I am sure of is that I'm proud of myself. I have enough money to pay off my debt, pay rent, have a semi-boring social life and put a little in savings. I have enough friends to support my semi-boring social life and I LOVE what I'm learning as a student and as a teacher. To all of those people who think you MUST have a solid grip on your life plan, I say, If that works for you, then go with it but don't knock down this dreamer.
I register for an internship next month, and hopefully the resent project I have undertaken (which I choose to not mention until it is 100% successful) will be 75% complete. I also have been singing a lot more. I have been going to a few Open Mic nights around town and really enjoy the spotlight again. I guess that's enough for now. I'll do my very best to write more than twice a year. :o)
Then the summer came. It was time for family vacation. I went into the week pretty confident. I thought this year my life was on the track that the family had agreed was the path for me so I thought I was in the clear. I guess your loved ones see things differently than you do. To spare you the details, I saw things very differently that week. I was very proud of the way I stayed calm but still expressed my self as clearly as I could. I stayed away from hurtful words since I knew it would not help. My uncertain future was in the spotlight and I've thought long and hard about how I feel about that. I can't tell you that I know where my life will take me in the next few years. I'm not sure if moving here wasn't a HUGE mistake, and I'm not sure if moving here taught me exacting what I needed to learn to be successful down the road. What I am sure of is that I'm proud of myself. I have enough money to pay off my debt, pay rent, have a semi-boring social life and put a little in savings. I have enough friends to support my semi-boring social life and I LOVE what I'm learning as a student and as a teacher. To all of those people who think you MUST have a solid grip on your life plan, I say, If that works for you, then go with it but don't knock down this dreamer.
I register for an internship next month, and hopefully the resent project I have undertaken (which I choose to not mention until it is 100% successful) will be 75% complete. I also have been singing a lot more. I have been going to a few Open Mic nights around town and really enjoy the spotlight again. I guess that's enough for now. I'll do my very best to write more than twice a year. :o)
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